Another one of the tools that I have come across is a technique for how you give someone feedback.
Firstly, organize your feedback. In preparation to give your feedback, organize your thoughts into:
- What went well,
- What was not quite right and
- What would you do differently
Then, when you are ready meet with the person to whom you wish to give feedack:
- Ask them, about the situation related to the feedback, what went well?
- What was not quite right for them and was a little tricky?
- What would they do differently if they could do it again?
That’s right, you ask them to answer these questions first.
When you meet with them they already have feedback in their brains themselves on how it went. You provide the opportunity for them to say it out loud and then they are ready to receive your feedback. Not to mention the fact that you will not give them feedback that they clearly already know and creating tension around that “obvious” fact.
After they have answered the three questions you then ask them if they would like feedback.
Yes, you ask for their permission so that they further accepting that they want this and will listen and be engaged in that moment.
Then you provide your responses to those three questions, you support their own feedback in a constructive way and, you may have to think on your feet, you add anything that they missed that you thought of while they were providing their own feedback.
Think of it this way. Your capacity for feedback is limited to a cup. When you are about to get feedback, your own ideas are already filling up that cup. If you don’t get the opportunity to empty that cup, the feedback from the other person is just spilling over onto the floor and being wasted.
So, when giving feedback, keep yourself organized and provide the opportunity for your recipient to empy their cup, before you attempt to fill it.